|
Tradition
Poh Choo's wedding
The tea ceremony |
| A chin chuey wedding (10) She then invited the bridegroom to lift up the bride's veil. As he did so, the bride blushed.... FIVE MINUTES before the bridegroom arrived, the folks in the bride's place had been alerted by the sounds of the processional music about eighty yards away. As soon as the musicians reached the bride's house, packets of fire-crackers were let off. When the car stopped in front of the house, a ku-yeah (page boy) in ceremonial attire strode up to the rear door of the car and tapped at it. That was the traditional invitation to the bridegroom to enter the house. The best man opened the car door and gave the page boy a good-luck red packet. Then he stepped out followed by the bridegroom, and together they walked into the house, the page boy leading the way. On entering the front hall, the bridegroom was received by Meh Ah Lian and the sarng-keh-myn on behalf of the bride's mother. He was invited to sit on a chair decorated with lace and red ribbons, facing the door, and his companions filled up other seats in the hall. When the bridegroom was seated, the musicians on the five-foot-way stopped their music. They needed a rest and refreshments were given to them. Meanwhile, the page boy offered the bridegroom a cup of tea served in a small porcelain cup on a saucer, both items embossed with pink and green floral designs. The best man, standing beside the bridegroom, kept on fanning him. The sarng-keh-myn with the page boy went upstairs to bring the bride down to meet the bridegroom. When the bride entered the hall, a quarter of an hour later, the music started again. All eyes were focused on the bride and bridegroom. They faced each other for the first time, and with their hands clasped in front, they bowed slightly to each other. They had been separately briefed by the Mistress of Ceremonies on what to do. The bridegroom took a quick look at his bride, but her eyes were fixed on the floor in front of her. The Mistress of Ceremonies directed them to stand on the carpet, about two feet apart, facing the family altar. Then she assisted the bride to kneel down and when she had done so, the bridegroom, lifting up his skirt a little, followed suit. Each of them was given six lighted incense sticks (three thick and three slim ones) to hold with clasped hands. The bridegroom noticed that the bride had white well-formed fingers. |
| Raising their
clasped hands to their foreheads, they bowed slightly to the gods
and the ancestors. Having done this thrice, the Mistress of Ceremonies
took the incense sticks from them and planted the thick ones in the
larger pot and the slender ones in the smaller pot. The Mistress of
Ceremonies then assisted the bride to get up. As she rose, the bridegroom
also did so. He now took note that she must be at least five foot four
in height, giving allowance for her head-dress. He was glad that she was
not short or stumpy. Led by the Mistress of Ceremonies, the bride, followed by the page boy and the bridesmaid and then by the bridegroom, proceeded upstairs to the bridal chamber. When they left the hall, the music stopped. The best man and the rest of the bridegroom's retinue adjourned to the inner hall and were served cakes, tea and soft drinks. It was soon evident that they appreciated the nyonya cakes for they were made by people with a high sense of professional pride. Our widow and Meh Ah Lian went round encouraging the young men from the bridegroom's side to eat as much as they could. 
When the bridegroom entered the bridal chamber, he took a swift glance
around and liked everything that he saw, for the decorations were tastefully
arranged. The Mistress of Ceremonies requested the young couple
to stand in front of the bed, facing each other. She then invited the
bridegroom to lift up the bride's veil. As he did so, the bride blushed,
but her eyes were glued to the floor. It was clear that she was embarrassed
for it was the first time in her life that a young man was looking at
her at such close proximity. She sensed that the young man was studying
her features for he held on to the veil a wee bit longer than he should.
The bridegroom was not at all nervous and he smiled for he was happy that
his father had chosen for him a very pretty and nicely-built girl.In a flash, the experienced sarng-keh-myn caught the reaction of the young man, and judging by his smile and the gleam in his eyes, she knew he would be able to deal with the situation himself. She realised that Lim was correct that there was no need for anyone to 'feed' the couple with the red rice balls or with the bird's nest soup. After seating the bride on a chair at a small round table three feet from the bed, she invited the bridegroom to take the other chair. She then brought in and placed on the table a porcelain bowl on a porcelain plate with a silver spoon beside the bowl. It contained bird's nest soup steamed with rock sugar. She then left the room with the page boy and the bridesmaid. |
| The intention
was to leave the couple alone for a short time. Seeing that his bride
was shy, very shy indeed, the bridegroom spoke to her in a soft, calm
voice: "Let us have some refreshment. You take the first spoonful."
Having said this, he took the bowl in his left hand, and with his right
hand, raised a half-spoonful of its contents to the girl's lips. She sipped
the bird's nest soup, and for the first time, she looked at the bridegroom.
Yes, he is the young man who sat beside the older man in the cinema hall
a few months ago. And he is quite handsome and manly. As he was still
smiling, she smiled too, demurely at first, and the ice was broken. Encouraged,
the young man said: "Have another spoonful." She liked his voice, a
calm, strong voice, and the way he said it. She took the spoonful, and
to his surprise, she said, coyly: "You have the next one." He did so,
and it pleased him to hear her speak for her voice was sweet and soft. By the way she smiled and the way she looked at him, he sensed that she liked him (just as he liked her), but there was still some tenseness in her. That was understandable. This was the first time they were together alone, and both had to be careful not to create a wrong impression. After each had taken a further spoonful, he asked her: "Don't you feel tired wearing such heavy garments?" She smiled and said: "No, what about you?" Skilfully, he led her in small talk to put her at ease, to encourage her to speak to him, and to let her know that he was interested in her welfare. Thus, within a few minutes, half the contents of the bowl were consumed, and the bride and bridegroom were no more total strangers. A mutual liking and respect for each other was born. Fifteen minutes later, when Meh Ah Lian and the sarng-keh-myn came into the room to announce that everything was ready for the tea-serving ceremony, they saw at once that the atmosphere of rigidity between the bride and the bridegroom had thawed. She noticed that the bowl of soup was less than half-full. That was a good sign. The sarng-keh-myn expertly touched up the bride's face and reddened her lips again with rouge paper. After making adjustments to the bride's garments as she stood up, the sarng-keh-myn assisted her to go down the stairway, step by step, closely followed by the bridegroom with Meh Ah Lian in the rear. Just before they entered the front hall, the page boy and the bridesmaid joined them and the ceremonial music started again. Two decorated chairs had been placed side by side, some two feet apart, in front of the family altar and a carpet was spread before the chairs. The Mistress of Ceremonies directed the couple to stand on the carpet, facing the two chairs. Then she called on the bride's mother to sit on the left chair, facing the door. The widow took her seat with matriarchal dignity. Her hair, impeccably done up in the nyonya style, was held together with gold hairpins, each studded with small diamonds. In each earlobe was a small stud diamond earring; on each wrist a heavy gold bracelet. She wore a new, long light-brown kebaya, fastened in front with a set of three gold brooches embedded with diamond bits. And her feet resting on a padded footstool, were shod in a new pair of embroidered slippers. She looked impressive and pleased and the bridegroom liked and respected her instantly He also felt that she liked him, too. |
| The
chair on her right was for the spirit of her deceased husband. In deference
to Lim Ah Keow's wishes, the bride and bridegroom did not kneel when
they offered tea to the bride's deceased father. With hands clasped
in front, they bowed three times to the empty seat, after which, the
Mistress of Ceremonies on their behalf, placed a cup of tea on a porcelain
tray on the seat, at the same time saying in a clear voice:
"Honourable father, please
take your tea." An uncle, the younger brother of the deceased man, on behalf of the widow's family, placed a red packet on the tray as a token gift to the couple. Then, facing the bride's mother, the couple bowed three times to her with hands clasped in front of them. After this, the Mistress of Ceremonies took another cup of tea, put it on a tray and presented it to the widow. She took the cup and sipped it, and Meh Ah Lian on the widow's behalf, placed two large red packets on the tray: they contained the gifts which had been selected for them and described before. Following this, the empty chair was removed and the tea was served to the paternal uncle. His wife was in China, otherwise, she too would have been offered the tea. As the cup was brought to the uncle , the bride and bridegroom bowed to him once, and the Mistress of Ceremonies said respectfully: "Paternal uncle, please have your tea." After drinking the tea, he placed a red packet on the tray. In a similar fashion, the bride's maternal aunts, who were themselves widows, were served tea, one after the other, and after sipping the tea, each put on the tray her red packet. Thus was carried out the traditional manner of introducing the bride and bridegroom to the senior relatives of the widow's family. As there were no others to be served with tea, arrangements were made for the newly-weds to proceed to the bridegroom's house. # (To be continued) Tenth extract from Chin Kee Onn's "Twilight of the Nyonyas" - A chin chuey marriage in Ipoh Previous installment |
|
Child Protection Society Penang 118A Scotland road |
| ______ INDEX Point to the article that you want to read, and CLICK Index page The Black Market Administration Book review Chinese
words in Malay Food guide
Jazz Letter
from Pulau Tikus The nightmare
A people's constitution (3) |
| _____________________ The Penang File Issue 44 |