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Customs
Sireh and pig's legs
Meh Ah
Lian gets a bride for Lim Ah Phin
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| Hakka and Minangkabau THREE WEEKS LATER, Meh Ah Lian turned up again at Meh Suan Gek's at the request of Lim Ah Keow to formally ask for the hand of the first daughter as a bride for his son. After he had been thoroughly briefed by the match maker on the virtues of Poh Sim, Lim Ah Keow made inquiries on his own and obtained a lot of information about the widow Suan Gek and her family. He learned that her husband was one called Chin Ah Choy, a Hakka from Ka-Yin-Chu, Moiyen, in the province of Kwangtung. This struck a nostalgic note, for his own father came from the same district in China. Chin Ah Choy started as clerk some 22 years ago in a tin mine in Papan, eight miles from lpoh, and after several years of proven honesty and loyalty was rewarded by the boss with the gift of a twelfth share in the mine. This brought him a small fortune. When he died some ten years ago in his native village on his last visit to worship at the ancestral graves, he left his widow in Malaya three small shophouses in the Old Town and a 5-acre rubber estate on the outskirts of lpoh. Before he came to Malaya, he already had a wife and two sons who were left in his village in China. A younger brother was now working as a clerk in one of the tin mines in Menglembu, near lpoh. One source told him that the widow's grandmother was a Minangkabau kampung girl from Rembau, and her mother was a half-Malay with Siamese blood. In the 1890's, her father, a Hokkien, worked in a tin mine in Kedah and after marrying her mother, they lived in Penang for some years before settling down in Kinta, where the richest tin fields were located. Lim Ah Keow was not prejudiced by Suan Gek's mixed ancestry, and although he was not conservative, he was one who believed in discipline and correct behaviour - so, what counted with him was the way she brought up her family. Her strict control over her children was widely known. Once in the marketplace, when a hawker accused her youngest boy of having stolen a stick of sweet-meat, did she not give the poor fellow the beating of his life? |
| Modesty,
obedience On that occasion, she yelled out loud and clear that she might be financially poor, but she would never be found wanting in morality and duty to her family. Everyone who had had dealings with her knew what she meant by 'duty to her family'. It meant that everyone of her children must observe the codes of filial piety and proper behaviour; the girls must learn all the household arts and crafts and practise the virtues of modesty, obedience and frugality so that they can become good wives; and the boys must study hard, avoid the vices, such as smoking, gambling, drinking, extravagance, mixing with bad hats and staying out late at night. None of her children should give any cause for any outside complaint against them. That was the way she raised her family and Lim Ah Keow approved of it. And now that he had seen Poh Sim and had even watched her coming down the stairs as she was leaving the cinema, he was sure she was healthy and strong and was a good choice for his son. Our widow on her own, also made investigations about Lim Ah Keow and had gathered quite a lot of information. His parents were farmers in their village in Ka-Yin-Chu in the district of Moiyen. His father had inherited a small piece of ancestral land and they cultivated it with the help of some hired hands. Both his parents loved him as he was their only son. His father did not want him to be a farmer and gave him a good grounding in the village school hoping to raise him up to be a scholar. His mother died before he was ten and a year later his father re-married. The step-mother made life so miserable for his father that he died within two years of the marriage. Lim could not stand the ill-treatment of the step-mother, and at the age of fourteen, he left the village and came to Malaya with a Sui Hak who knew his father well. Lim was a clever young man and he made good. He is now a very important official in the bank, and he owns large rubber estates around Kampar and Teluk Anson. His wife was a local-born Cantonese girl, educated in Chinese and raised up on conservative lines in a Confucian school. She had an excellent disposition, was intelligent and well-mannered, and was careful in the upbringing of her children - a boy and two girls. Although Ah Phin was their only son, they did not spoil him. They sent him first to a Chinese school and later to an English school. They would have kept him on in the English school but there was no class beyond standard seven. So the father put him in the bank to learn banking so that one day he could become a compradore himself. The wife died a few years ago but, before she died, she requested her husband to get a nyonya bride for their son, as nyonya girls make good and obedient wives. Because he loved his wife intensely, he promised her he would fulfil her wish. And concerning Ah Phin, she was glad to learn from two reliable friends that he was a filial son. On Cheng Beng day (the Chinese All-Souls' day), he would personally tidy up his mother's grave and worship her spirit with reverence. On festival days, he always burned incense before the tablets of his grandparents and mother, at the family altar. Knowing all these things and having seen the young man, she decided that he was acceptable as a son-in-law. |
| Consulting
the gods Thus, when Meh Ah Lian turned up to formally ask for the hand of Poh Sim for Ah Phin, she was well received. Meh Ah Lian, to make sure that she would not fail in her mission, took an early lunch and went to the Tua Pek Kong temple by the riverside to consult the gods on a propitious day for her type of visit. As the answer of the gods was, 'the sooner the better', she made straight for the home of her friend. She was sure that the gods were correct as it was half-past two and at that time the house was clear of the boys who must have gone back to school for the afternoon session; also, the mistress of the house ought to be free, as all the chores connected with cleaning up after the noon meal must have been done. There was of course a possibility that the widow could be away, but she brushed off this frivolous thought as the gods had given her the green light. True to her expectations, Meh Suan Gek was at home and in a happy frame of mind. She was cheerful because earlier in the day she had disposed of 225 katis of unsmoked rubber at the heart-warming price of $180 per pikul. Her satisfaction was augmented by the fact that she had outwitted two dealers in two different shops who had tried to swindle her by making it appear that the market was down and that no one in his right senses would pay more than $l40 per pikul for her sort of rubber; ‘so crudely-processed, so uneven in thickness, and not properly dried' and so on. Pigs and dogs! They thought they could fool a woman just because she was uneducated and a widow. True, she couldn't read and write and she couldn't calculate fast, but she could read the thoughts and the hearts of men. She could tell by the way men spoke, by the tone of their voice, by the look in their shifty eyes, by the curl of their lips, by the way they laughed or coughed or giggled, by their gestures and simulated smiles, how sincere or hypocritical they were, how clever or how stupid they were, how moral or immoral they were and to what extent she could trust each one of them. Before visiting these two dealers, she had already gone round to two other shops and had found out that the market price for unsmoked rubber for the day was between $176 and $180 per pikul. Finally, she sold her rubber to a fair-minded dealer, who realised that she was not one to be trifled with. Our matchmaker did not know anything about this rubber deal and attributed her luck in finding her friend in a favourable mood to the will of the gods. The sight of the visitor brought added elation to Meh Suan Gek for she sensed the purpose of her friend's call. "Let's sit on the barlay", she said. "Take off your long dress. It's such a warm day." The visitor agreed that it was warm and unfastened the three suasah (bronze) clasps from the front of her long dress, and removing the loose kebaya, hung it up on one of the four brass hooks of a coat-hanger that was screwed to the wooden partition. As the ladies settled down on the barlay, Poh Choo the second daughter, brought two cups of black coffee and the inevitable sireh-tray. |
| Pig's
legs, betel leaves For the first half-hour or so, they gossiped about things in general; about recent fluctuations in the prices of foodstuffs; about dress materials and sarongs and good and bad cloth merchants; about cake-making utensils and where they could be bought cheaply. The talk then drifted to gossip about people known to them and cleverly Meh Ah Lian directed their conversation to the subject of Lim Ah Keow and his son. At this point, the visitor sat closer to the widow and they spoke in subdued terms so that the girls in the kitchen should not overhear what was discussed. "I've come to find out whether I could have the pleasure of eating your pig's legs," Meh Ah Lian quipped, at the same time preparing for herself another mouthful of betel leaves. Her friend understood the innuendo, for pig's legs formed the principal item among the traditional rewards earned by a successful matchmaker. ''That all depends on the Fates," replied Meh Suan Gek, scrubbing her strong teeth with a tiny ball of shredded tobacco. "First of all, their pekji must agree. It is useless if their horoscopes clash. If there is no clash, then you'll have to approach the other party to agree to a chin-chuey marriage. After that comes the exchange of rings, the question of phian kim from the bridegroom's side, then the types of ceremonial gifts required, the choice of date for the engagement, then the date of the marriage and other matters. Don't think it is so easy to eat pig's legs, my dear friend." "Indeed, I know what I'm in for, having volunteered for this role of go-between," countered the matchmaker. "However, I'm sure to succeed and you'd better get ready a choice pair of fat pig's legs." This set them giggling and laughing. So congenial was the atmosphere that Meh Suan Gek kept her friend back for dinner, and the latter agreed to stay as Tuan Mac had gone to Penang on business and would be away for the next few days. # This extract from Chin Kee Onn's "Twilight of the Nyonyas" gives us a glimpse of the marriage customs of the Babas in Ipoh. |
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| ______ INDEX Point to the article that you want to read, and CLICK Index
page A Baba examines himself
Baba words Book
review Food guide
From Pulau Tikus
Hang Li Po Letter to the editor Pigs legs
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________________________ The Penang File Issue 35 |