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The proud parrot
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Insect photos at Kg Sireh (Lau Heo Hnui) by Chuan Teik Hin |
| Story THE PROUD PARROT WE WERE TALKING about eagles when Hussein began telling me of how he and a parrot became enemies. "Yon know those big white talking birds that Europeans like to keep?" he asked by way of introducing the subject. "Yes" I said. "The English call them parrots. The clever ones are very expensive." |
| "Parrots,"
he repeated, and began to relate his unhappy experience
with one of their kind. In 1938 Hussein had got a job as watchman at the F__ Hotel. He had served only a few days when Mrs Klee Web arrived at the hotel and hired a ground floor suite. She brought with her a husband and a parrot. The man did not merit special attention: his only vice was heavy drinking and, as watchmen at hotels are immune to drunks, his arrival did not kindle much interest among them. The parrot however fascinated the men and its personality quickly became the main topic of conversation among the hotel employees and their friends. For unauthorised presence on the premises of Mrs Klee Web, many a guard suffered pay cuts and the various other penalties that employers inflict on their underlings. But despite the dangers, watchmen and hotel employees alike continued to steal up to Mrs Klee Web's verandah on the off-chance that they might catch the famous bird at his fabulous tricks. And they were truly astonishing. Provided he was in a good mood he could if requested, scratch the back of his head, drink out of a spoon held in his claws, imitate the local birds singing in the hotel garden and even screech like a saw at work. Hussein's favourite was "opening the bottle," though this feat he saw only once, requiring as it did two performers, one being Mr Klee Web. Mr Web would go up to the parrot with a bottle of brandy in his hand and say, "Now then Charlie" then pull out the cork with a loud pop. Charlie immediately followed this with a second pop, moving his foot up as though he were opening his imaginary bottle. All these tricks were but the lower range of Charlie's achievements. His crowning glory was an ability to utter the human language with a clear diction; and not only speak it but to talk back.. Let anyone berash enough to be rude to the bird and Charlie would wallop him with his well trained tongue. One defect however marred Charlie's great reputation. He was colour conscious. He performed for Europeans only. If he caught sight of a "boy" or watchman secretly admiring him from a hidden corner he would be offended and at once stop doing his tricks. Even Hussein, who is by upbringing an extremely superstitious fellow and ready to accept tales of wonder at their face value, found this story about the bird's complex hard to believe. He decided to the test the bird himself and to see if the slanders were true. One day when he had made sure nobody was about, he went up to Charlie and in a friendly manner said "hullo!" to the bird. Charlie turned his head away in the manner of a dato who has been wrongly addressed as "inche". "Hullo!" he called again, this time a little louder. ( Perhaps he didn't hear me first time, Hussein thought hopefully). Charlie's reaction was unequivocal: he changed his perch and faced the other way. This made Hussein angry. I can understand a European being stuck up he said to himself. But a bird. What is he after all? He can't employ me and can't give me the sack. You don't have to say Tuan this and Tuan that to birds just to keep your job. Why put on airs? you filthy bird. These reflections created even greater wrath in the heart of Hussein and he began to abuse Charlie. Charlie |
| understood only English and this
rather put Hussein at a disadvantage for he knew only two English expressions;
though not as effective as his native Urdu, they were suitable for the
occasion. So Hussein shouted "You bastard, you bloody fool" again and
again. Charlie haughtily came back with a string of filthy oaths, which
luckily for him Hussein didn't understand; otherwise he would have met
his death there and then. Charlie went on in this strain for so long and
so loudly that someone soon appeared, forcing Hussein to beat a hasty retreat
to his room where hatred of the ill-mannered creature oppressed him like
a stone. Had he not been sacked the following day he would certainly have
done away with Charlie. The next morning the commander of the guard of 14 watchmen summoned his men and gave them a lecture on the correct behaviour to be adopted towards Mrs Klee Web's parrot. Hussein was sacked. The commander said it was not because he had scolded Mrs Web's parrot but because he had broken previous orders not to intrude on the lady's privacy. But Hussein and his friends knew he was lying and hiding the real reason, as he always did. "Mrs Web must have caught sight of you as you left Charlie after the quarrel," I suggested. Hussein shook his head angrily. "It was that accursed parrot," he retorted . " Like a fool I had my badge on and he must have reported my number to the European. Oh that parrot! I am sure it was possessed by an evil spirit. How was I to know it could even read? # |
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Technical advisor: Tony Ooi |
If you have any photos of old Penang which you would like published please send them to 35 Halaman Batu Maung 11960 Batu Maung Penang and we shall return them to you after publication If you have a story we shall be glad to publish it here. We have also an Index to all issues. If you are interested in having a copy please email us at thepenangfileg@yahoo.co.uk giving your name, address as well as your email address |
| ______ INDEX Point to the article
that you want to
read, and CLICK Index page Academic
freedom Baba sayings Book review Discarded
wives Divide and rule Food guide A heritage
restaurant Insects seen
The jungle war Letter from Pulau Tikus Story |
| _____________________ The Penang File Issue 49 |
Image of Penang
Island by Tina Choong